Roll Your Own Adventure

AO: Big Creek

When: 07/07/2021

PAX: Whiz, Deja Vu, Mr. Hand, 5-way, Swiper, Inseam, Schneider, McDuff, Benny, Deuce, Baskins, Spit Valve, Sculley, Snowman, Goldberg

QIC: Whiz

YHC was recently a guest at a wedding where one of the favors given was 2 20-sided dice (the bride and groom are big Dungeons & Dragons gamers).  While I can’t say I’ve ever played D&D or ever intend to, the 2 20-sided dice seemed like the perfect instrument for a BD.

Warm-O-Rama:

Mosey to the bottom of Killamanjaro for the usual.  YHC called some mountain man poopers in honor of Hushpuppy who is on the DL (hopefully very short term).

The Thang:

PAX were instructed that we were going on a quest to rescue a sad clown from the keep of a dungeon enchanted by the fart sack siren and that we’d be guided along our journey by some magical dice.

  • First, roll to see if we traverse up merkin mountain or over bear crawl berm.  bear crawl berm it was.
  • Next, we had to cross the plains of despair that are frequented by mutated vultures known to swoop on the PAX and carry them away.  sprint the straightaways and perform 12 diamond merkins as instructed by the dice.  bernie sanders the width and sprint back to the 3rd corner to finish
  • On though the lost woods to the dog park where the mythical beast Cerberus guards the path.  Cerberus has 3 heads, each of which must be destroyed separately by rolling odd numbers on the combined dice.  Evens don’t count but require LBC’s as a penalty.  The first 2 heads were defeated fairly easily with a bunch of merkins and star jumps but the last head proved difficult.  We finally defeated the beast with BBSU’s and were back on our mission
  • Up and around the bend to raccoon bridge where we almost made it across until a giant troll happened upon us and demanded we pay the burpee toll.  Dice came up with 32 burpees and the troll relented to allow the last 16 reps as merkins as trolls are known to disdain whiny PAX who complain about having to do 32 burpees.
  • Next stop, F3 village where PAX were given respite in each pavilion of the shire.  Dips and Derkins were called in double digit reps as the dice stayed hot.
  • Last stop before the dungeon was the bathrooms to ensure PAX were well prepared for the final push.  Partner up for 3 rounds of BTTW and 10 dying cockroaches.
  • Our final push into the keep to rescue the sad clown required OYO mary with the dice leading the way.  Freddy Mercury, J-lo, and of course 25 T-Bombs to break the poor sad clown free right at time.

COT:

Lots of prayers this morning:

  • Snowman’s job interview
  • Benny’s extended family struggling with a COVID outbreak
  • Sculley’s dad in hospice
  • Everyone affected by the horrific murder on the golf course in Kennesaw
  • Spit Valve’s friend and Denmark Mt. Bike coach who broke his collar bone

Naked-Man Moleskin:

‘Twas a fun morning indeed…Aye!

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